Catholic Revelation

An Unexpected Christmas Gift

My Story

My sister and I were about to leave the sandwich shop and then rush off to complete some important errands. I took my final bite of sandwich and picked up my tray to get ready to leave. As I was discarding my trash I thought I would make a quick trip to the restroom before I left. That is when I spotted an elderly woman with a cane making her way to the restroom. “Great, I thought to my selfish and impatient self. I need to wait because it would be rude to rush in ahead of the slow moving woman.” Just then, a handicapped woman headed in the same direction. I looked over at my sister, rolled my eyes and said in a whisper, “Forget it.” At that moment, the elderly woman said, “That’s okay, go ahead.” My heart skipped a beat, and I was horrified at the idea that she heard my sigh and was speaking to me.

It didn’t appear that she was talking to me as she looked at the handicapped woman heading toward the restroom door. I was relieved. She was speaking to the handicapped lady who began heading for the restroom at the same time she did. Whether she noted my frustration or not, did not really matter, however. What did matter was my uncharitable heart. I had just witnessed one elderly and slow moving woman exert patience as she graciously offered to let a disabled woman go ahead of herself. This woman who was originally an annoyance getting in my way, was suddenly a kind and patient angel, and here I was a selfish and able bodied inconsiderate clod. I knew at that moment that it was time for me to go to confession again, and this confession wouldn’t be like other confessions where I simply say I am impatient with people. No, this particular sin was disappointing enough to require a description of my thoughtless feelings and actions.

Later, I told my brother about this incident and my growing impatience with elderly people. I told him that I had been very arrogant lately and due for a confession. I don’t know whether he was trying to make me feel better or not, but he is known for making an occasional tasteless joke or wise crack meant only for my ears. “What is it about elderly people that annoy us so badly? Perhaps they are put here just to test us,” he said as though he were also a clueless and inconsiderate clod that I was feeling I was. He was not at all serious. He knew that selfishness played a big part in our impatience with the world and this remark was partly meant to shine light on that sad fact. Because it was such an obviously absurd remark, however, it was hard not to laugh.

God also has a sense of humor, but it is not always meant to tickle our funny bone, as my brother would soon find out. I can’t say that his insensitive words, ‘perhaps they are here just to test us’, would come back to haunt him, as God doesn’t seem to operate that way. God is infinitely more powerful than anything we can possibly imagine, but he is gracious and merciful at the same time. The lesson he planned for my brother was taught with gentle kindness.

The God given lesson my brother would share with me came just before Christmas day as he and his son were visiting St. Anne’s to help prepare a room in their own hearts for the baby Jesus. My brother’s heart was cluttered with all of the things he needed to rush to accomplish, and this sacrament was just one of many things on his busy schedule. They began to ascend the steep steps of the Church and if they were lucky there would be no line. My brother was hurrying his teenage son along. “Hurry up Chris, let’s get this over with,” he said. He would quickly make a mental review of his sins, they would receive the sacrament of reconciliation, and be on their merry way to accomplish all of the other many tasks on their busy lists. If all went smoothly, no one would get in their way. At least this was what my brother thought. God had other plans in store.

My Brother's Story

When we got to the Church I was happy to see that there were no people at all walking through the doors of the Church. Chris and I started up the stairs when we noticed the elderly women approaching us from the opposite stairway. We could have easily slipped through the doors, but my conscience made me hesitate and that is when I thought of my insensitive joke about ‘old people being here on earth just to test us’. I opened the door for them and as they came up the stair way, the younger woman reached out and grabbed my left arm as if she could have never made it on her own. The woman obviously didn't need my assistance, but she seemed to appreciate the attention of being helped and was not embarrassed to show it. As I let them in, I thought, “Now, these two old ladies will be in front of us in the confession line”. To my joyful surprise, however, they went in the other direction (perhaps, to use the restroom first). “Whew, one less obstacle in my way.” I thought.

We kneeled in the back of the Church, and as I tried to pray I remember being concerned that other people might mistakenly get in front of us in line. I was here, after all, not to make an afternoon out of it, but to be done with my Catholic duty as quickly as possible.

The dozen or so people in the back of the Church, who were closest to the back of confessional sat down on a bench. The rest of us stood in line behind them as the line continued to move. There was only one Priest giving confessions. When it was time, Chris and I eagerly made our way into the stand-up line and I figured, we were finally home free. Nobody could get in our way now. Then, just as it was our turn to sit down, I realized the two elderly women were immediately behind us in the stand-up line. I figured, “Nothing is easy.”

The opportunity to be generous a second time was too obvious to pass up, so I offered the two elderly ladies our seats. The younger lady of the two motioned for the older one to sit down and she looked at me and exclaimed in a very loud whisper that everyone could hear "Well! I hope you have a Merry Christmas!" I quietly whispered back, "I hope you have a Merry Christmas too". I was kind of astounded at how such a simple gesture of courtesy got such a grateful response. I wondered if she had a mental condition because her speech seemed impeded. I thought to myself, "It's only two more people we have to wait for."

What I didn't realize was what else this woman had in store for me. She would be talking to me the entire time we waited our turns for confession. She mentioned her mother was about to have her 90th birthday party. She asked me my son's age. Her speech impediment was very obvious, but she seemed to enjoy talking and wasn't concerned what other people thought. I was a little embarrassed about how loud she was and the fact that we were in the Lord’s house while people were praying and confessing their sins, but didn't want to rudely ignore her. At the same time, I didn't want the other confessors to think I was the one keeping conversation alive during the quiet moments before confession.

I remembered feeling like I didn't have much time to form the words I wanted to say to the Priest when it was my turn for confession because the lady kept wanting to talk. This was my impatience speaking to me again. I knew my sins all related to selfishness and impatience, but ironically, I couldn't think of any specific details or examples of times I was actually selfish. The glaring example before me went unnoticed.

Two places before it was the lady's turn to confess, the lady held out her hand to me and said, "My name is Mary and my mother is Marie. It's nice to meet you." I suddenly felt honored that this kind, talkative lady enjoyed meeting me. I told her my name and my son's and told her it was nice to meet them too. When it was the lady's turn for confession, I wondered if she would have an unusually long talk with the Priest, but it turned out very short, and I still hadn’t reviewed my sins and how I was going to communicate them to the priest.

I went into the confessional, without the time to gather my thoughts. Nevertheless, I felt like I gave a more honest account of my sins than I ever had. I told the Priest I needed help with my lack of patience and that too many times I put my own comfort in place of others. When he asked me how often I prayed, I told him every day. He said I gave a great confession and told me to say five Hail Mary's and five Our Fathers.

When Chris and I finished praying, we quietly walked back to the car. Then, I jokingly asked Chris if we should wait around to see if those kind old ladies needed help getting down the stairs. They were nowhere to be found. As we walked back to the car, I gave Chris the keys to drive and felt really proud of him. Having to wait and be patient on a Saturday afternoon was such a good experience for him. I was glad he was able to witness my example of how we treat our elders with respect and place them before us. The parking lot was directly across the street from the church.

As Chris began driving towards the exit lane of the parking lot, the final miracle of the day happened: The two old ladies were walking down the stairs and Mary spotted us in our car. She gave us a big, joyful smile and waved goodbye. I was amazed at how observant she was for seeing and recognizing us in our car. I told Chris that was the happiest, most grateful woman I had ever met. This whole experience left me with a very warm feeling inside. This talkative, handicapped woman named Mary made me feel very worthwhile and important in a way I would have never imagined before. I felt touched spiritually, too. I wanted a quick, easy, non-confrontational, uneventful confession, but it seemed God had very different plans for me that afternoon. God’s calling was for me to have a confession from the heart, and these two ladies were indeed my ‘test’.

From the moment we walked up the steps into the church and drove off in our car, God was proving a point in a very gentle, but persistent way. He used a very kind, handicapped, joyful woman named, Mary to remind me how my own sins prevent me from experiencing the peace and happiness we are meant to have. Whatever little bit we give of ourselves brings back peace and joy in return. This woman made me feel special, and from that came a sense of peace and worthiness in life. When we worry about ourselves too much, we can never have peace and we can never satisfy what we think it is that will make us happy.

It took so little to make this woman happy. She didn’t have a busy list of things to do that day. Her purpose was to bring her mother to confession and spend a few quite moments with God. What better lesson is there than that?

My Epilogue

I indeed went to confession after seeing myself in the mirror that day at the sandwich shop. I confessed my sin, and was given a suitable penance. I was asked to say the Rosary and reflect upon the kind and patient ways of Mary, the Mother of God. For the first time I began to actually desire that kind of patience. I want to rid myself of my grumbling and look for ways to be kind to others. I am still learning, but it has been a satisfying lesson so far.

I think it is very interesting that the woman my brother met that day was joyful, kind, grateful, patient, and named Mary, just like our loving Mother, the mother of Jesus. It is Mary, the Mother of God, who teaches us to be humble and patient and to love Jesus above all else. These two women were like a gift sent from Heaven to teach my Brother that when you try to squeeze God into your life instead of making Him your purpose in life, you have nothing that really matters.

These two ladies didn’t have the luxury of ‘squeezing God in’. As the younger woman tenderly helped her mother up the steps, she was not looking for an easy way out. As she offered her friendship to another of God’s people, she was not looking for a way to avoid obstacles toward reaching a goal. Her burdens may have looked heavy, but the light of God shown through her smile and gratitude tell a very different story. It appears that God lightens her load. Yes, she was the one used to test my brother, but what a gift she not only is, but obviously possesses.

What lesson have I learned? I learned that we suck the joy out of our life whenever we try to squeeze God into our busy schedules instead of making Him our main reason for living. When we are too impatient to make time to care for those more needy than ourselves, we aren’t making time for God.

I received a wonderful gift this Christmas and it was better than any gift wrapped and waiting for me under the tree. It was my brother’s story.
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